


where the world is in transistion

by AllTheMissingSocks



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Road Trip, Falling In Love, Getting Together, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Road Trips, love confessions in Denny's parking lots
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-29
Updated: 2018-03-29
Packaged: 2019-04-14 11:24:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,053
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14135091
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AllTheMissingSocks/pseuds/AllTheMissingSocks
Summary: Jeremy met Ryan in South Dakota.Alternatively: Jeremy has a car, just enough money for fuel, and a need for some cosmic answers.





	where the world is in transistion

Jeremy drove his first car when he was twelve. He was sitting on his grandfather’s lap in the driver’s seat and the leather steering wheel of the jeep was worn under his fingers. The rhythm of his heart pounded in his chest because he was breaking the rules; he was free. They only drove a kilometer or so, but his hands still shook when he ran back inside, aching to run back to the dirt road where he had felt more alive than ever before.

He inherited the old car when he was twenty-two, fresh out of college with a meaningless degree and only two thousand dollars left in the bank. He didn’t even have to think about what he wanted to do next. Jeremy had only just dropped off his boxes from college before he was out the door and in the seat of the jeep. 

He started by heading north, up to New Hampshire. Snowy patches were still strewn across Okemo as the mountain rose up behind the glittering lights of the resorts. He met others there, a group of backpackers from New York who had an extra pair of skis and a room to spare. They were hilarious and lighthearted, worries sanded away by their years together on the road. 

There was Jon, a digital designer who had struck it big with an IT company years ago; Barbara and Mariel, a couple who had moved from Canada; Miles, an aspiring writer with no books to his name but thousands of ideas that he shared over their week together. He painted pictures with his words, broad sweeping strokes; his boyfriend Kerry created the details, giving depth and shadow to the spoken images so that they were as stunning as the mountains themselves.

They planned on staying for another month at Okemo so Jeremy wrote down Barb’s number on the back of postcard and tucked in the glove compartment before making his way west. He was in South Dakota by the end of the week.

Jeremy met Ryan in South Dakota.

The Jeep broke down right before he reached the Badlands. It was towed from where he was staying at Custer State Park to a one-woman operation owned by a mechanic named Griffon who was all too happy to fix the rotors and brake pads, as long as he paid off his expenses by helping her out. He ran the desk for her, checking in customers and making appointments for others. It usually ended up being that Griffon would grow bored with the cars and sit inside on the counter and tell him the stories behind her tattoos. 

Jeremy was working the desk when a man with blonde hair and the bluest eyes he had ever seen walked in. He was wearing a pair of hiking boots and an olive jacket, and he had stubble that framed his jaw. Jeremy flashed him a smile and willed his heart to stop beating so loud that this man could probably hear it. The customer smiled back and ran a hand through his hair. “I, uh, need to have my car looked over by one of your mechanics. It’s not starting,” 

Jeremy noted that the man had a nice baritone voice as he pulled up the customer information on the computer. “Alright, is the car here?” he asked. The man winced. “No, it’s kind of in a river right now.”

Jeremy stopped typing and looked up at him with bewilderment. “What do you mean, it’s in a river? That’s probably the reason why it’s not starting!” he said incredulously. The man smiled again, a little sheepishly this time and Jeremy couldn’t help but feel sorry for him. It helped that the guy looked like a model for an outdoor magazine with his red checked flannel shirt and Timberlands.

“Well, it’s not really in a river. Just the back two wheels. I’m staying at a campsite, and I must have parked it too close to the water and not have realized it in the dark.”

Jeremy hummed with interest and printed out a copy of the forms for the man to fill out. “Campsite? Are you taking a hiking trip or something?”

He laughed. “Or something, I guess. I don’t really know where I’m going, but I’m here for now.”

Jeremy grabbed a pen and passed the forms across the counter before leaning his elbows on the desk. “A roadtrip, yeah? Just have to keep on going until you find what you’re looking for.”

The man took the forms and paused, staring at him in surprise. Jeremy thought that maybe the sky was trapped his eyes as much as he himself was. “Yeah. Exactly like that.”

Jeremy took the forms back when they were all filled out and help the man, Ryan, call a tow truck for his car. Griffon offered Ryan a couch to sleep on in her apartment above the garage while his car was being fixed, so Jeremy drove Ryan out to his campsite to get whatever he needed. On the way, they debated about which Dakota had the more gorgeous lakes. 

The next day, Griffon finished replacing the rotors and brakes on Jeremy’s jeep and informed Ryan that his car, and ancient Ford truck, was basically dead. She offered to try and fix what she could, but he declined. Jeremy watched the whole exchange from behind the desk and felt his heart sink when Ryan walked out of the shop and pulled out his phone.

He didn’t know why, but he couldn’t just let Ryan leave. He was the same as Jeremy, trying to find some cosmic answers by driving around with only ten bucks left for gas and dreams larger than the open road. Before he knew it, Jeremy was out the door, the little bell on it alerting Ryan of his presence. He slipped the phone back in his pocket.

“You know how you said you were driving around, didn’t really have anywhere to be? I’m doing the same thing. Just kind of going wherever. I don’t have anywhere specific I want to go, so…” Jeremy took a deep breath and jammed his hands in his pockets. There was nothing but curiosity on Ryan’s face, so he continued, “I was going to let you know that you’re welcome to come with me, if you want to.” 

Ryan’s answering smile was so big it almost looked like it hurt. “That sounds great, as long as you’re okay with it. I don’t know where I’m going either, so we can figure it out together.”

Jeremy blushed and shoved at Ryan’s very solid shoulder. “Well, you better navigate, ‘cause I have no idea where the hell I’m going. Maybe Yellowstone? Yosemite? I don’t fuckin’ know.”

Ryan laughed, a sound that rang in the air. “It all sounds perfect to me.”

They sold Ryan’s car to someone who will scrap it. Jeremy half-heartedly tried to talk him out of it, but Ryan wasn’t too attached to it. He bid it farewell with a neat ten grand in his pocket and his duffel packed next to the pop-up tent in the jeep.

Jeremy quickly learned that Ryan was an early riser. He woke up the next morning and Ryan was already awake, sat on the hood of the jeep with a steaming travel thermos of coffee in his hand. Jeremy wrapped his blanket around his shoulders and hopped up to join him. Fire played across the sky as the sun rose across the plains. 

“I can’t really see you as coffee drinker,” Jeremy admitted. Ryan smiled his damn wonderful smile again and passed the mug to Jeremy. “No, you’re right. It’s too bitter for me, but I found some in the breakfast box when I was digging around so I thought I’d make you some.”

Jeremy ducked his head and hoped the burning light hid his reddening cheeks. “A little creepy, but thanks,” he grumbled. Ryan only laughed and offered to take the first shift of driving.

They passed through the rest of North Dakota and pressed on towards Montana. Jeremy learned that Ryan was a computer animator who burned out too soon, brilliant and fast like a flare. He had sold his apartment in Georgia and never looked back, opting to drive through the Midwest states and spend some time there. He promised to show Jeremy some of his favorite places in Chicago, and that made Jeremy pause.

“So, I know that I don’t really have any plan or timeframe, but there’s like an end to this, right?” And it felt like he was making a mistake, putting a deadline on how long they could travel as he stumbled through his words. Ryan went silent in the passenger seat. Jeremy scrambled to backtrack.

“Not that, like, we need to go back. I’m going along with whatever happens right now. I think I’d be able to do this forever,” he assured, and meant every word. Ryan finally turned to look at him. Jeremy glanced at him, and there was hope in his eyes like none he had ever seen before.

“I want to do this forever too. But I’m good right here, right now,” he said with genuine contentment.  
Jeremy grinned, and a weight lifted from his chest. “Yeah. Right now is good.”

They checked into Glacier National Park as the sun disappeared behind the horizon. By the time they parked at their campsite, the stars were on full display and shone so bright that Jeremy thought he could grab one if he just reached up. They covered the sky in a greater number than he had ever seen before.

Jeremy and Ryan laid side by side on the flat roof of the jeep with their pile of fleece blankets that they dragged out of the tent.

Ryan pointed up at the brightest star, “I’m not any sort of astrologer, but I at least know that one’s called Sirius.”

“Astronomer, you mean. And that star to the right of it’s Rigel, but that’s part of Orion, not Canis Major,” Jeremy said and shifted Ryan’s aim a little to the right so that it pointed to a different star a little below Orion’s Belt.

Ryan hummed in appreciation. “Amazing. How do you know so much about the stars?”  
“My roommate in college was an aerospace engineer. He enjoyed the astronomical part way more than the engineering. We haven’t talked in a while, but I think that he and his boyfriend Matt work at a telescope station down in Arizona.”

“We could go visit them. I’ve never seen the Grand Canyon,” Ryan said as he traced the stars with his fingers. Jeremy tried to convince himself that the way his heart soared at the words was because he would be able to see his friends again, not because it meant Ryan was staying with him.

They spent the next few days just hiking around Glacier Park; Jeremy wasn’t too excited about climbing Bearhat Mountain, but the view was worth it. Ryan borrowed a canoe from one of the neighboring campsites and they paddled McDonald Lake on their last day there. 

After they returned the canoe and packed up, Jeremy suggested that they drop down towards Wyoming to see Yellowstone and then continue on to Texas and Arizona. They got a head start that night, racing against the sun to reach the Wyoming border. Another night was spent mapping the stars, and when the morning light finally woke him up Jeremy already knew where Ryan was.

He joined him out by the jeep and watched with him in comfortable silence as the last rays crossed the border of trees. It was quiet, and felt surreal in every way. 

Here he was, after only a month on the road, and he had seen more spectacular things than he had ever before. Sure, he had seen more colors than he’d ever seen before in the sunsets from a New Jersey pier, but he also saw a sunset reflect off of Ryan’s eyes and make them shine like the Atlantic Ocean. Bearhat Mountain took his breath away with its allure, but so did Ryan’s exhilarated laugh when they had reached the summit. They had passed some base jumpers when they were hiking Bearhat and even stayed to watch them jump. Just seeing them drop made Jeremy’s palms sweat and convinced him to back away from the edge. He had watched as they reemerged back into view with colorful parachutes.

Their fingers brush together and lingered when Ryan passed him a mug of coffee with a small smile and he thought that maybe it was the best analogy for what he was feeling.

He had leapt, back in South Dakota when he told Ryan to come with him, and now he was plummeting, waiting for Ryan to pull the chute and stop his freefall.

They made it to Yellowstone by noon and blurred together into the crowds near Old Faithful, and if they were holding hands it’s just because there was so many people, right? Jeremy took his camera along and they waited until Old Faithful erupted and took funny and obscene pictures that made a mother and her minivan full of kids frown.They walked around with fingers tangled together, laughing so hard they double over, tugging at the link between them. 

Hours later, they sat together on the still-warm hood of the jeep in the car park of a 24-hour Denny’s with the weeping sunset before their eyes.

Ryan’s olive jacket was warm around his shoulders and smelled like the pine needles at Glacier National Park, the sulfur of the geysers, and the rubber of the tire that they changed when it popped near the Wyoming border.

Jeremy felt like if he was going to find any answers to the questions he didn’t even know, he was going to find them in the sky. Or perhaps in Ryan’s seaglass eyes, if he was feeling even more poetic.  
When Jeremy finally tore his eyes away from the colors bleeding into navy, he saw Ryan with his camera in his hands, the lens pointed towards him instead of the spectacular sunset.

Jeremy snorted and took a swipe at Ryan, but he snickered and jerked the camera away. “Just admiring the scenery,” the blonde smirked. Jeremy blushed and shoved Ryan’s side instead, “You fucker. The scenery is in front of you.” 

Ryan’s smile grew crooked. “Naw, it’s right here next to me. It’s better than anything probably you could draw.”

The insult was mocking, no bite behind it and it made Jeremy howl with laughter. He grabbed dramatically at his chest. “I’m wounded. Heart broken beyond repair,” Jeremy indignantly gasped as he caught his breath. 

The air was on fire, lit by the burning match that threw aurelian halos around everything it touched. Ryan leaned in a little, “At least give me a chance to win your heart before I break it.”

Ryan’s smile was dazzling, and he looked so fond that it stole whatever air was left in the space between them. There was a vacuum, pulling, twisting, tugging them together. Jeremy couldn’t see anything but him; they could’ve been anywhere or nowhere and he couldn’t see anything except the way the gleaming liquid light played across strong cheekbones and turned blonde hair into spun gold.

Jeremy leaned in. He paused right before their lips touched, both breathing in the same air and yet he felt like he was drowning.

“Is this okay?” Jeremy exhaled, and he didn’t know if he was talking to himself or Ryan. 

“Perfect.” Ryan’s voice was barely a whisper but it roared in Jeremy’s ears as he tilted his head and kissed him.

The inferno flared, burning like the supernovas that they found every night. Ryan’s hand was on his waist, pulling them closer so that their thighs were touching and their chests pressed against each other, points of contact that ignited like kerosene.

In this Denny’s car park with no air and no space between them they made an anomaly; fire existing without oxygen, two strangers finding each other with the hope of finding themselves along the way.

Nothing and everything changed after that night. They still talked about the same stupid things as they drove and Ryan criticized Jeremy’s love of 90’s music; Ryan had an almost unhealthy obsession with Diet Coke that led to may gas station stops and vend machine raids. He woke with the sun and made Jeremy coffee so that they could watch the sunrise together.

But now on the long stretches of grassland in Wyoming and Colorado Ryan’s fingers tangled with Jeremy’s and tapped out the beat of songs on his knuckles. In the cheap motel near the Arkansas River they shared a single bed and Jeremy woke not to the sunrise, but rather Ryan hesitantly saying that he thinks he loves him and Jeremy not-so-hesitantly responding that maybe, definitely, he fell in love too. 

They traveled for almost a month then, taking the time to explore Colorado and its mountain peaks. It was exhilarating to be with Ryan because he’s clever and funny and once talked them out of a speeding ticket so smoothly that Jeremy sat in shock in the passenger seat because Ryan could barely say a single sentence without mixing words up. They sped down desert roads with no names and drank 7-Eleven slushies in car parks flooded with moonlight and Jeremy never wanted to leave but they did anyway.

They arrived in Austin on the last Friday in September. As they walked hand-in-hand down East Sixth Street, Jeremy’s camera hung around Ryan’s neck and he snapped candids of the buskers and pub signs. They escaped the city before nightfall and Jeremy stopped at the first diner that he saw that had less than ten cars parked outside of it. 

The outpost was comfortably warm, though that might have just been the whiskey neat in Jeremy’s hand. It was homey and rustic with auburn wood and subtle forest green highlights in the many signs on the walls. The only people there were a few regulars and a man in beanie that sat several barstools away from them and had a line of empty glasses piling up next to him.

The bartenders were a sarcastic man named Geoff and his impressively bearded husband Jack and they danced around each other behind the bar with a fluidity and spacial awareness that made Jeremy think that they had spent years learning it. 

Him and Jack chatted about what sights to see in Texas while Ryan and Geoff amiably argued about things from their home states of Georgia and Alabama respectively. They talked about where they were planning to go from Texas and Ryan threw out the idea of Seattle and the Pacific northwest. Geoff, a retired photojournalist, nodded enthusiastically and said that he thought it was a great idea before starting on a rant about all the rain Seattle got.

Jack rolled his eyes at his at his husband and refilled Jeremy’s empty glass. He started to pull out his wallet, but Jack waved a hand. “No need.” Jeremy tried to protest, because him and Geoff were amazing and openly wore their matching wedding rings in the South and if anybody in the world deserved to be tipped it was them. 

Jack still refused though, and gave him a reason as he wiped down the counter and cleared the glasses in front of the man in the beanie. “You and Ryan are the nicest people we’ve gotten here in a while. Yeah, me and Geoff are happily and confidently out, but just because we are doesn’t mean everyone’s as accepting.” And yes, he’d heard it all before and yet it felt like Jack was imparting him with ancient knowledge so he leaned in and listened. 

“You guys must be some sort of lucky to find each other. Me and Geoff were friends for years before starting our relationship. Instead you just noticed love when you saw it, and that’s something I can admire and you should be grateful for.” Jack put down the glasses and faced Jeremy to look him in the eye in a way that came off as both earnest and friendly. They stayed in stasis for a second that felt like a year before Jeremy tipped the glass of amber to the bartender in thanks and the moment ended. 

He checked the clock on the wall and saw that it was just past eleven. He finished the drink while Geoff and Ryan moved on to discussing video games and by midnight, the conversation had wound down and the only customers left were Jeremy and Ryan. The man with the beanie had paid and walked out when Geoff cut him off, even though Jack still had his keys so was lurking around somewhere.

Jeremy put the folded napkin with Geoff’s number on it in the pocket of his jeans before heading out to the jeep to wait for Ryan to use the bathroom and finish paying. Outside, the same stars as always burned in the inky darkness, all except for the foreign pinprick of light from the end of the cigarette held between the fingers of the Beanie Man. He was sat on a wooden bench, drenched in red neon from the open sign that flickered every few seconds.

Jeremy unlocked the jeep and slipped into the passenger seat. He let out a deep breath and closed his eyes. Ryan had planned on waking up tomorrow so that they could drive to the Gulf and see the sunset on the water, but they would have to postpone that since there was no way he was waking up before ten o’clock.  
A quiet ding made Jeremy open his eyes. On the center console, Ryan’s phone lit up from several messages. And Jeremy didn’t want to pry, really, but he was both a curious and a jealous motherfucker so he grabbed the phone anyway. 

It was three texts, each from the same person named Meg Turney. The first was pretty generic, anything a worried friend would send to someone who up and went. Just wondering if you were planning on coming back anytime soon. The next two texts made him see red.

Ryan knocked on the driver’s side window, looking questionly at him. Jeremy moved without thinking and slammed open his door. The phone was clenched so tight in his hand he thought he might break it as he rounded the car and crowded up in Ryan’s personal space.

“What the fuck were you playing at?” he hissed, and goddamn, this was hurting his heart way more than he thought it should because he should have seen it coming.

“What do you mean?” Ryan just looked more confused and it made the roiling mass of anger in Jeremy’s chest grow. He held the phone up and read the text, “‘Just know I that support you and love you and I can’t wait for us to get back together again in Seattle.’ What the fuck, Ryan! You have a girlfriend?”

Ryan’s face darkened and he made a swipe for the phone. “No, I don’t have a girlfriend! How could even think that?” 

Blood rushed in Jeremy’s head and colored his cheeks red; his pride stung and he lashed out. “How could I? You fucking saw the texts,” he shoved at Ryan’s chest and pushed him back against the side of the jeep, “and that’s not something you send to friends. She even said she couldn’t wait for you guys to get back together!” He was chest-to-chest with Ryan now, his finger placed square over his sternum and pinning every accusation there.

“She’s an ex!”

“And what? You just needed someone to drive your sorry ass to go meet up with her again? I bet you’re glad you found someone as stupid as me to do it for you! Real happy to be of service!”

Ryan pushed back, making him stumble back and onto his ass. Gravel stung his palms. “You’re drunk, Jeremy.”

Jeremy pushed himself up to his feet again and snarled at him, “Yeah, but at least I’m not a fucking cheater.”

Ryan’s hands clenched by his sides and it was the first time he’d seen Ryan silently furious. He knew that this was real anger, not his faux yells of annoyance when they had to change the tire in Wyoming, but he couldn’t bring himself to care anymore.

“Sober up and find me when you’re ready to talk like a goddamn rational adult,” Ryan growled, and fuck, if that wasn’t the most condescending thing he’d ever heard. Jeremy could only stand and watch as Ryan jumped into the jeep, jammed the keys in the ignition, and reversed out of the parking lot.

The man on the bench laughed and Jeremy spun to see him. He watched as the guy snuffed out his cigarette in the dirt and sauntered towards him. “You’ve fucked up now. He left you behind!”

Jeremy balled his hands into fists and stepped to the side so that he could keep an eye the man in front of him. “It was my fucking car.”

The drunk giggled, loud and raucous, and he kept walking, making Jeremy shuffle to keep facing him. “Oh shit! You just let him push you around like that?”

“Actually, I think I’d like more if I could push you right now. You know, like off a cliff.” Jeremy was itching for a fistfight and he could see that this was was going to be an easy one to get into.

The man’s eyes narrowed. He stopped walking around and turned to face Jeremy head-on. “Those are fighting words, you fucking fool.”

There it was, the opening for a final verbal blow. Jeremy smiled as he said it and his blood sang.“I don’t know. You don’t look like much of fighter to me.”

He could see the second the man decided to throw the first punch. It was in the twitch of his shoulder, the rotation of his hips. Then Jeremy was blocking and ducking and swinging as hard and fast as he could because this was what he wanted, right? Ryan had gone and probably wouldn’t return with his grandfather’s car and he was so fucking stupid to try and love someone he didn’t know.

The man caught his chest with an open palm and propeled him back so he could drive his leg into Jeremy’s side. Jeremy checked the blow and crouched to steady himself so the next combination of punches didn’t knock him over. He retaliated with a straight punch and the heel of his palm smashed into the man’s nose. He roared in pain and struck blindly, his knuckles catching Jeremy’s cheekbone with so much force it split skin.

The door to the bar slammed open and Jack rushed out and in between the two. There was angry yelling, Jack and Geoff and the other man, but all Jeremy’s ferocity had fled and he was left feeling colder than he had ever been before as stinging blood dripped down his face and his hands shook.

Jack gave them both icepacks and Geoff gave them a stern talking to about responsible drinking. Michael flipped Geoff the middle finger and accepted the whack to the back of the head that it had earned.

They sat at the bar with wadded up paper towels pressed to their faces and a pile of blanket stacked in booth. Geoff had wanted to kick them out, but Jack said they could sleep anywhere in the bar and if they fucked anything up of broke something it would come from their wallets.

Next to him, Michael snuffled and wiped away the last of the blood from his nose. Now that they were both stuck here together until the morning, Jeremy felt at least a little guilty about what had happened between him and Ryan, as well as him and Michael.  
Michael tossed the wad at the trashcan nearest the blankets and groaned when it bounced off the edge. Jeremy couldn’t help the huff of laughter at Michael’s expense. The other smiled sheepishly at him with red-stained teeth as he went to go place the paper towel into the bin.

“I’m, y’know, sorry about hitting you in the face. And for being a dick to you,” he said as he tugged the beanie down further over his curls before he unfolded one of the red afghans sitting in the booth. Jeremy hopped off his barstool and joined him. He grabbed a fluffy orange and purple fleece blanket and a pillow from the pile. “Same. I just really don’t want to have to explain it to Ryan.”

Michael looked at him as he shook out one of the foam bedrolls Jack left and released a cloud of dust into the air.

“You’re going to try and talk it out with him?” He asked, and there was something in his voice that Jeremy couldn’t place. He unrolled his own mat with more care and placed it down in the open aisle.

“Yeah. I know that I was in the wrong both for looking at his phone and for assuming stuff about him that he probably didn’t want to share. I was an asshole, and even if I’m just a rebound and he decides to get back together with Meg Tuggey or whatever her name is, I’m still going to see what he has to say.”

That made Michael pause, freeze like a deer in the headlights. He dropped his pile of afghans onto the roll with another puff of dust. “Did you say Meg Turney?” Even though he didn’t really want to talk about it, Jeremy decided to indulge him.“Yeah, I think that was her name. Do you know her?”

Michael’s laugh was different from the one in the parking lot, this one full of disbelief and and edge of pain. “I do. I can promise you that she’s not going to be dating Ryan again, ‘cause she’s dating Gavin and Lindsay. Small fucking world.”

But Jeremy felt like the world was enormous, collapsing all around him and caging in his chest so that he couldn’t breath. Ryan hadn’t been going behind his back; this was all Jeremy’s own fault.

“Oh,” he gasped. “I fucked up.”

“You bet you did. At least you can fix your mistakes,” he shot back and there was that voice again, a little bit of anger and regret with a smidge of hope. Michael trudged across the floor and flicked the light switch off with more force than was probably necessary.

By the light of his phone, Jeremy arranged his mat and blankets. He turned the phone off and they laid in soundless equilibrium, neither willing to speak for a moment. 

“Hey Michael,” Jeremy ventured after a second. “Do you know her well?”

Michael’s sigh echoed in the dark. “Yeah, Jeremy. I know them all really well. Now go the fuck to sleep.”

Geoff woke them up with a swift broom handle to the ass. “Time for you fuckers to rise and shine! Restaurant opens at six and I really want you gone by then!”

They folded up the blankets and mats before Jack returned Michael’s keys and handed them a bag full of breakfast sandwiches while shooing them out of the diner.

“Let me make it up to you for that,” Michael gestured to Jeremy’s black eye as the door shut behind them. “I can drive you to wherever Ryan is so you can kiss and make up and continue your honeymoon or whatever.”

“Thanks, and it’s not a fucking honeymoon. We’re not married,” Jeremy argued as he followed Michael to the only car left in the parking lot. Michael made a face and snickered. “Well, then hopefully you’re better at making it up to him than you are at throwing a punch.”

The insult was different from the sharp words Michael had thrown like knives last night; he sounded more tired and self-deprecating than anything. Jeremy decided to drip the subject of relationships so he didn’t get decked again and instead gazed at Michael’s car as he unlocked it.

Jeremy wasn’t an avid fan of cars or collecting them, but he could recognize it when something was expensive. Michael’s chrome sportscar looked like it cost twice as much as what Jeremy could had ever made in a year at his old job as a barista in Boston. 

During the ride to the motel Jeremy and Ryan had booked Michael kept up a steady stream of conversation, bouncing around from different topics like his childhood in New Jersey to how he had once been accidentally tasered. Jeremy wondered if Michael was ever so lonely that he talked to himself when he was alone in the car just to hear his own voice.

Michael pulled into the Motel 6 lot and shut off the car. “Good luck,” he said with genuine kindness, “I hope you figure everything out.”

Jeremy smiled gratefully at the redhead and open the car door. “Thanks for kicking my ass into gear. You should talk to Meg, too. If there’s anything I learned from this it’s that there can never ever be too much communication in a relationship.”

Michael looked stricken for a second. His face flickered through a few emotions before settling on exasperated, like he’d heard Jeremy’s advice many times before. “Alright,” he whined and elbowed Jeremy’s side. “Get out of my car and go get your man.”

Jeremy laughed and flipped Michal the bird as the chome beast roared past and back out onto the streets.

He, unsurprisingly, found Ryan on the roof with the sunrise as his company. Pastel pinks and yellows soaked his white shirt and rounded the sharp features of his face. Jeremy felt a snap of affection, quick and heady. He took a deep breath; he could fix this.

“I just want to start by saying that I was wrong, not you,” and Ryan spun around with the most deadpan look he’d ever seen and holy shit, was he doing this wrong too?

“I wanted to tell you that I shouldn’t have invaded your privacy like I did, and that even then I still made assumptions that were wrong and wouldn’t listen you when you tried to explain.”

He couldn’t look at Ryan anymore, too scared of the anger or disgust he was expecting so he wrung his hands and looked at them instead while his eyes stung.

“After you left I got in fight and just, Jesus Christ, I’m so sorry for everything I said. You deserve way better than whatever bullshit I can give-” and Jeremy stopped because Ryan had walked over and pulled him close with arms wrapped around him tightly; he was ethereal, backlight by rays of light.

“I forgive you,” he said, plain and simple, like the actual real-life angel he was but Jeremy shook his head because Ryan just didn’t understand. His voice was muddled like ash in water. “No, I fucked up,” he stumbled, tripped over his words but Ryan cut him off again, firm but reassuring.

“Yeah, you and I both messed up. I still left you behind and that’s really unacceptable. We both have things we could’ve and should’ve done last night, but it did happen and the fact that you’re here means you’re a better man than me and that, if you’ll have me, I want this to work out, ok?” 

Jeremy didn’t trust his voice so he nodded into Ryan’s chest. His hands moved to Jeremy’s hips and God did he probably look like a mess with tear stains and a black eye but Ryan was looking at him with a smile that was reserved for admiring the sun dawning and lakes that were panes of smooth glass.

Ryan leaned in and Jeremy remembered snow drifts in Okema and South Dakota stars, a Denny’s in Wyoming and abandoned Colorado roads. The was a warm olive jacket and a camera that were waiting in the jeep far, far below on solid ground.

“Is this okay?” Ryan asked, and everything glowed in the sunlight, everything was drenched in gold.

Jeremy pressed his lips to Ryan’s in answer and it was perfect.

**Author's Note:**

> A small study into some surrealist themes and descriptions as a break from the FAHC fic that is currently kicking my butt. It's partially inspired by a roadtrip I took when I was in America for a student exchange and I enjoyed every second because there's nothing like sitting in parking lots at night in South Dakota to see stars.
> 
> Feel free to comment if you like this sort one chapter thing and want to see more of Michael's arc in this fic or if you find anything I can improve on for next time!  
> -Niamh


End file.
